Recurring Chance

Sophie came over today.  We talked a lot.  I never really thought about what it would seem like from another persons point of view.  Mum and Dad have obviously been through it before and they are beginning to accept it.  But Sophs is different.  She can see that my life ends when my memory resets.  I essentially die.  Yeh, I retain memories of how to use stuff, how to keep myself alive, but my personality is dead.  Personalities are grown, they evolve with the surroundings.  Every two years I get the chance to do everything all over again.  Question is, do I want that chance?

Of course not.  I don’t want to leave Sophs.  I don’t want to forget my experiences.  How will I ever learn to socialise properly, I’ve got nothing to compare to.  I keep thinking back to the “date” Sophie and I had the other day.  Had I had my previous memories I would have known how that would have looked to her.  Watching TV and films is one thing, not that I do that much anyway, but real life experience is what counts.

Sophie understands all that.  She’s so sweet.  She’s pledged all her spare time to help me figure out my condition, to figure out how I can either overcome it, or live with it.  The specialists keep telling me it’s part neurological, part psychological.  That something in my brain triggers my consciousness to forget everything.  One of them even believes that all my previous memories are stored away somewhere, waiting to be retrieved.  So far, nothing.

I will tell her about you,  I think I can now.

Thanks Michael

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