Ruin My Life

I feel so much better now that I know I’m doing this for me.  A part of me feels selfish, but then another feels right.  I almost felt like I was betraying myself before.  No I know I’m doing the right thing.  Now I know I’m going to get somewhere with this.  I’m going in with Sophie today to see her mum.  She’s still in a coma apparently, but her vitals are strong and that’s the main thing.  Sophie didn’t say much about how her dad was.  I do hope he wasn’t involved.  I mentioned before that he drinks a lot…….I’ll say no more.

Started my new computing assignment.  I have to investigate the protocols used on the internet.  Come on, I know HTTP like the back of my hand.  Strangely enough these parts of my memory I never forget.  Long term kinda stuff.  Knowledge like that I keep.  Knowledge like that stays with me.  It’s bizarre.  Kinda like my own brain is trying to systematically ruin my own life.  Take a second to think that through.  Maybe when you are reading this you’ll actually know what’s what.  Maybe you are sitting on a beach, having a good old chuckle at how Joel in the past used to be.  I hope so man.

I don’t know what to do about Sophie.  She still keeps her distance from me at the moment.  I know she’s upset.  I just.  I really want to help.  I hate to see her like this.  I wish I knew what you know.  I wish I knew what to say.

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